“Church” ≠ Church
- clairenicea
- Jan 31
- 4 min read
Yesterday, we celebrated 설날 seollal, the lunar new year, here in Korea, ushering in the year of the wood snake. Just as a snake sheds its skin so the year represents a time of transformation and new beginnings. Coincidentally, this also marks about halfway through my YAV year. We have a new president in the US, and South Korea is in the middle of a massive political shift. It is a season of big transitions, personally, nationally, and globally.
I hesistated a long time before writing this post because I felt so unsettled. I have been trying to discern my next steps career-wise, assess my finances, and set goals while factoring in all of the political, environmental, and economic variables around me. During the solar new year on January 1, I decided to make the phrase "my peace is my power" my mantra for the year. However, I did not feel much peace after that, and I wanted to write my blog post centered in that peace. Unfortunately, I still don't feel settled, but I have made peace with the fact that this may be a long period of transition and discernment.
When I asked ChatGPT to explain the signficance of the wood snake to me, it gave me the following response:
Good for: Strategic career moves, education, financial planning.
Challenges: Overthinking, hesitation in decision-making.
Advice: Stay patient, plan ahead, and embrace change wisely.
I guess I'm just in tune with the season! Overthinking has definitely been a challenge for me, especially because I have traditionally been quick to make big decisions, and I am trying to take my time now. Plus, patience has never been my strong suit, and it is difficult to wait in the unknown. I know advent just ended, but for me, I feel like it just started. A time of waiting in the darkness for light to come. In this season, the support of family, friends, church, and community is more necessary than ever yet the trust between us has never been more broken. What does it mean to be the body of Christ when it feels like the arm keeps punching the body in the gut?
I've been reflecting a lot on the role of the church and Christian community in relation to our faith journey. Though church is supposed to be a sanctuary of love and peace, it is often a site of conflict, jealousy, and strife. I was feeling quite disappointed about this and wondering if the sin and brokenness of God's people actually outweigh God's grace. Does this mean that I give up on the church? Even the label of Christian has such a negative connotation to many groups who have been marginalized and persecuted by the church. It makes me not want to be associated with "those kinds of Christians" so badly. Just as I am unsure if the continued existence of humans, with our modern lifestyles, is good for the earth so I am unsure if the continued existence of the institutional church is actually helpful to people trying to follow Jesus. But when I try to imagine what God would think, the following words emerge:
"The church is not the body. The body is the church."
This is something I need to sit with for a long time.
What also comes to mind is the parable of the good Samaritan. The lesson there is that anyone who loves their neighbor is following Jesus' will, regardless of how they identify. So when I consider again who my neighbors are, who my comrades are, who my brothers, sisters, and siblings are, I think I must imagine anew the body of which I am a part.
I love the church, even though it has broken my heart. But being church together is just one attempt of people trying to walk on the straight and narrow path together. The group may split, but the path is always there. And God does not judge such splits as failures but looks upon our brokenness with compassion. And no matter who we do or don't walk the path with, God is always by our side.
In the midst of this heartbreak, I also feel a lot of fear in the face of increasingly violent political rhetoric, the utter inhumanity of war it leads to, and the devastation and tragedy worsening climate change is leaving in its wake. Yet I remember,
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
—Psalm 23:4-5
God is with me, and God provides.
God is with me, and God provides.
God is with me, and God provides.
Please continue to pray for me, especially that I may not waver in my faith, lose my ability to hope, or harden my heart in pain and anger. I send you all a prayer for peace, health, hope, and love this new year in the abundance of God's grace.
Lord, in your mercy 🙏
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